Making artwork and Fargo season 1....

So I have either been teaching, prepping to teach, stitching, sleeping or exercising.  Occasionally I have made a nice dinner or a batch of cookies.  There has been no cleaning.  My house is filthy.  But, I have gotten some artwork done.  I have work going into a local restaurant, Forager, at the beginning of October and I am desperately trying to finish two stitched pieces and two drawings.  And then I hope to make one more drawing; I don't know that that is going to happen. I have watched the first season of Fargo on Hulu.com while I was working on this piece:

And it was fabulous.  Like I would watch it again fabulous.  It was a ten hour miniseries, and I finished stitching on all the little eyes right as it ended.  Now I need to cover it some with massed thread clumps.  Might have to buy myself season 2 for that work.

Sitting as a practice....

I sit.  I sit at my desk and work, on the couch and space out, in my bed up against the wall reading.  I also sit as a practice.  And it is not even sitting really right now...my back and neck hurt to much to hold myself upright; instead it is laying on the floor with my knees bent and lower legs resting on a chair.  I do this for twenty three minutes usually, most every night.  It is meditation, but that word makes it seem like something more than it is.  It is just noticing.  I notice my breath, and my weight and how it meets the floor, and the sounds.  There are so many sounds in a house to notice.  And there are so many thoughts in the mind to get lost in, so that you lose the noticing.  When I realize I can't hear the sounds, I realize I am listening to my thoughts.  Then I can come back to the noticing.  It happens over and over; there is something so comforting in that.  

I was talking with my brother a couple of days ago about some changes he is making in his life.  Difficult changes.  He knows the changes are better for him, but he still wants the other.  He told me he can allow the desire to be there, but he doesn't have to do anything about it.  He can choose.  That choice is so powerful. I find the sitting helps me make those choices with more peace.  That is why I will keep doing it. 

Elizabeth Gilbert's brilliant advice....

Do you ever listen to the Krista Tippett radio show/podcast "On Being"?  I do, but am way behind.  So this friend that I was visiting said I really needed to listen to the episode with Elizabeth Gilbert, who wrote "Eat Pray Love."  I did today while I was at the gym, and it had me smiling the whole time.  The episode title is "Choosing curiosity over fear" and it really resonated with me.  I don't often address my personal life here on the blog, but so much of the discussion addressed questions I have had in my own life and artistic practice.  

Elizabeth Gilbert said creativity is our "birthright" as humans, that we are the "maker apes." And then somewhere along the way, we lose this sense of naturalness or innateness to our creativity.  Many of us don't recover it; but that living a life of curiosity is also living a life of creativity.  She said that you may not may an object/an artwork, but that you make a life, which is a creative act.  She seems to have given herself permission to follow her curiosity, wherever that may lead.  

"I think curiosity is our friend that teaches us how to become ourselves. And it's a very gentle friend, and a very forgiving friend, and a very constant one. Passion is not so constant, not so gentle, not so forgiving, and sometimes not so available. And so when we live in a world that has come to fetishize passion above all, there's a great deal of pressure around that."  Elizabeth Gilbert

I am finding now, in my mid-life, that I am changing, that the people I love are changing, and that being fixed on passion, or your younger self's expectations. leaves little room for this organic growth.  Isn't it so brilliant to give yourself permission to explore in ways you might never have before....and then to have no judgement about that exploration?  

To choose curiosity over fear means to choose possibility.  One of the things I have struggled with is not wanting to feel the fear, or to know it.  But there is no way around that.  There is no life without fear.  There is however that moment, where you recognize the fear and want to run.  You can say hello to it instead, and then choose to not let it make your choices for you.  It is so difficult but unbelievably simple all at the same time.  I think I am beginning to choose curiosity; to explore because it brings me joy.  There is some good stuff in their talk about joy, and gladness, courage and compassion...just some wonderful words that will continue to resonate for me.  I hope you will have a listen if it is of any interest to you.  

 

Exhibition proposals, here I come.

I don't have much scheduled.  My work just came back from Tennessee yesterday and is still in boxes.  I need to get good documentation of one of those pieces, and I need to pick another for a donation, so those boxes will get opened soon.  I've got a handful of opportunities I would like to apply for, and I am thinking about those opportunities in terms of new work.  I spent all day at the computer yesterday trying to figure out how to write about the new stuff I want to make.  I always find the writing to be so much harder than the making.  But I think I wrote a really powerful first paragraph in a way I rarely write.  I said what it is.  I am excited about owning it and addressing it head on.  When I have the statement done and submitted, I will post some of it here.  Maybe it will be an exciting year of opportunity.  

so good...

again, with the embroideries.  I just love this work by Michelle Kingdom.  The images are so painterly, textured and detailed.  I dearly want one for my own.  Her little dreamscapes are full of mystery.  You can see her work on her website, she is one of Designsponge.com 18 embroidery artists to watch on instagram, and she has been featured on thisiscolossal.com.  

"Some imagined future" by Michelle Kingdom.

"Some imagined future" by Michelle Kingdom.

"What is done cannot be undone" by Michelle Kingdom

"What is done cannot be undone" by Michelle Kingdom

"Life will divide us" by Michelle Kingdom

"Life will divide us" by Michelle Kingdom

"Duties of gossamer" by Michelle Kingdom

"Duties of gossamer" by Michelle Kingdom