a sense of success and self-doubt...

Don't those feelings always go together?  And aren't they equally as useful/useless when you get down to it in your work?  A couple of weeks ago, I really felt like I was killing it....work in multiple venues, got a check in the mail, even got to go on an art trip!  Then I get back home, and get in the thick of making these weird little pod things and worry about a looming deadline and all the crazy talk starts happening.  Half a day later I am down a rabbit hole of trying to figure out how I am going to make work that sells...how am I ever going to get this certain exhibition...why do I have to make such weird things...what is it all for anyway?  

The rabbit hole is exacerbated by the fact that I am not making much of an income now.  I have a one day a week gig with the greatest plumber ever answering their phones, but I am not teaching, which is what really helps to pay the bills.  I am lucky enough to have a supportive husband who knows how important it is for me to make work, but that is not paying off our credit card.  And then, what really is success?  Whenever you reach a certain milestone, you just see one farther off in the distance that looks shiny and nice.  

So I am trying to get out of my head and get this new work up in June.  I am going to have to consider an online marketplace and webpage update after that, and I think that will help me get more specific about my commercial goals.  Hopefully.  Maybe I need to get more clear about all of my goals.  I am sensing some worksheets in my future.